Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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