Apparently you make a good broom.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
