If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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