I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i already hear my dad disowning me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
