I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
