drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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