if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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