ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
