GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
