i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize