So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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