i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
