He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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