Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
