i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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