White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
