just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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