it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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