his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
