Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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