Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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