Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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