matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
