Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we should paint friendship bongs
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