Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I intend to get homeless drunk
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
