giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
