thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
