There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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