she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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