how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I intend to get homeless drunk
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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