Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
