Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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