I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I faked an abortion last night.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
