Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize