I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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