I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
