We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
