Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
