I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
