Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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