i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
