im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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