I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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