just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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