Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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