it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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