Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize