I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
