I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
