I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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