If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
