Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
