I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
