I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love you. Go after that dick
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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