I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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