it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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