he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize