Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
